Back in July 2009 when my husband and I decided it was time for us to begin trying to have a baby I was a naive. Naive is the only word that can describe how easy I thought it would be to have a baby. I thought fertility was hereditary and for anyone who knows my family, getting pregnant has never been an issue. My mother conceived me and my two sisters while on birth-control. However, knowing my mom as I now do as an adult, I realize it is virtually impossible that she was able to take a pill at the same time every day. She is notorious for not even remembering to pay the electricity bill on time each month! So for her to do something at the same time everyday: Impossible. Hence her three birth-control babies. Still knowing as I do now, all of the things that have to go right for the end result to be pregnancy, I am amazed at all the unplanned births.
Alas, I digress, back to my own naivety. Unlike my mother, I am a planner. I plan for a living. It is what I do. And not to pat my own back, but I am a pretty darn good planner. I think it stems back to having a mother who does not plan anything. Having a baby, not so easy to plan. You can take your temperature every day, pee on hundreds of sticks, examine each bathroom activity with an eye of a private detective and still have virtually no control over the outcome each month's said activities.
I think the bright eyes, bushy tailed stage has pasted and I am now entering the frustrated stage. I remember being in Hawaii back in August 2009 about a month or so after we had started trying to conceive, and my husband beginning a sentence with, "If you are pregnant by Christmas..." before he could even finish his statement, I cut him off when an astonished, "What do you mean if? Of course I will be pregnant by then!" I am sure the amount of indignation on my face was measurable.
What is today's date? January 18th, 2010. I keep waiting for the moment when he remembers this conversation and give me his famous, "I told you so" look.
I don't know if I will ever make this blog public, but for now it is for me to remember the all the emotions I have felt during the process and hopefully be able to look back upon the days of waiting and say to myself, "And what were you so worried about!"
