I am less than a week away from the 10 month mark. I am still waiting for useless cycle #8 to end. My hope is starting to fade. I see the gals on TTGP passing me by - some that started months after me are already starting their 8th cycle. I don't know why that matters to me right now but for some reason it does. I very much sympathize more than ever for the ladies that have REALLY long cycles or have cycles all the time where they do not ovulate. TTC is hard enough but knowing you are not even getting a shot every month is heart breaking.
My doctor wants me to move on to clomid and I am ready. I just want to have a predictable ovulation time. It is all waiting on Steve being ready to get tested. Even though my bloodwork showed everything is ok with me - I still believe my wacky cycle length have been hurting us more than anything and if we can just nail some really awesome timing that maybe that is all we need. Maybe I am just being naive again. I pray every night that there is nothing wrong with him. I can handle something being wrong with me but please not with him.
I guess only time will tell. Still two more months until the one year mark, where he has promised to get tested if no success. I try to stay busy but with every day it weighs more and more on mind.
I am so thankful for support I have found from the ladies I have connected with on the bump. Knowing there are women who are going through the same trials or have been through so much more than I have, helps keep it all in perspective.
I can't believe it has been over four months since I created my first post. Somehow typing all this out has made me feel better.
It is past midnight. I am going to try to sleep and hope I wake up feeling more hopeful and appreciative of the blessings I have in my life.
